Apr 5, 2015

Seriously, You Can Choose to Be Happy!

I don't know how strong people get their shit together but along the course of life, I have learned some ways on how not to pass on the negativity virus to the people around me. I'm not being delusional here, I'm just trying to live the best way I know how. These may or may not work for everyone, but you can at least give it a try!

1. Acceptance

I can't explain how this simple word made my life easier. I used to go against everything, EVERYTHING! I still do this sometimes because it's fun to be different and it kinda rocks! But, when it comes to serious matters in life, when it comes to things I know I barely have control of, I just learned to let the f*ck go! I'm done mentally abusing myself just because I want to prove to everyone that I am 'someone' and therefore I should have a perfect image and crappy things that nobody actually cares about! I dug deep into the roots of my vanity (one of my worst sins) and I somehow saw myself at that horrible state way back in fifth Grade. A hurtful comment way back from fifth freaking grade fellas!!! I realized that it was so stupid to let that lousy comment from someone unimportant ruin my years of well established confidence. See, I was raised by my grandparents and I maybe a bit spoiled and bratty back then. But one very important thing I have learned from my grandfather was that I AM BEAUTIFUL. I was trained to look in the mirror and tell my self "You are beautiful". It was creepy somehow because I didn't look pretty at all when I was young. Cute, maybe, but definitely not beautiful! The thing is, I was told that whatever I see in the mirror is a definition of beauty. I was raised like that. But then I had to step into the 'real' world and mingle with other people and eventually I don't know who I am and what I am anymore. It took me years to get back my shaken confidence. This world has a completely different definition of beauty and I'm glad I have accepted that. I have accepted that I will never measure up to their definition of beauty but that does not mean I do not possess beauty. I accepted the fact that there are certain things that I can't do and I don't have to do them if my reason is to only please other people who don't even know me. I still challenge myself to do things I have never done before, but only to prove to myself that I can be a better version of myself and it will bring me happiness.

I have accepted that failure, rejection, disappointment and even natural disasters are part of life. They come and go, they don't really stick with you unless you let them.

2. Avoidance

If no one is going to get physically hurt or die if you don't attend to a particular gathering, give yourself a huge favor and just don't go! If it really kills you to see a LOT of people and get involved in phony conversations, guess what? You don't have to do any of those shits! Let them think that you are anti-social, introverted, boring or timid. One day they will get tired of thinking of a word to describe you anyway, just let them talk why you do whatever it is that you want to do the most. Whether it's painting, water skiing, song-writing, wall climbing, bunjee jumping or lion taming, JUST DO IT! I don't think you need a bunch of people to support you in doing your thing. Pick your favorite people in the world, let them know what you are up to and ask if they would like to join you. That's it! Avoid being with people you don't like in the first place.

3. Respect

I really love it when I talk to people who disagree with me and respect me at the same time. Just because you don't agree with something does not mean you have to go ballistic. I do believe that people (and other living creatures) can live harmoniously if only they would show a little more respect for each other. Whether it's about religion, political point of view (my least favorite topics ever!), choice of food and lifestyle, workout routine and just about anything, show some RESPECT and you'll find that peace and happiness within you that won't even cost anything.

4. Do YOUR thing!

It's fine if your thing is going to that 9 to 5 job of yours. If that's the thing that makes you jump out of bed every morning (even on the weekends!), then by all means dedicate yourself to it. Go batshit crazy about it until you collapse at the end of the day. Let nobody stop you from thinking about it and doing your best for it. Now, if you're the freelance type of worker who prefers to spend a few hours in a cubicle or not at all, it's totally YOUR CALL! You wanna take pictures? Get a goddam camera and just click your way to your happiness. If you want to travel, just get a map (or not!) and enough information about your next destination. You wanna be a writer? Write something, anything...EVERYDAY! Join a writers' club if you want to! You wanna sing? There are tons of free Youtube videos about vocalization and singing techniques. Same goes with dancing! Or better yet, get to know people who share the same passion. Introduce yourself to singers and dancers, see if you can somehow have a gig with them, even for free! Do it because you want to. I think if you truly want something, you will make it a priority and you would turn your back on crappy excuses about why you can't do it. Spare yourself the agony of doing the things that you hate. It's our birth right to be HAPPY!

5. Rest

We are not robots, we are human beings. We get tired, sleepy and lazy and at times we feel shitty. That's normal, what's NOT normal is staying in one state for the rest of your life. There may be times when we would feel like we swallowed some supernatural powers and we tend to be unstoppable, but dude, even Superman gets weak in the presence of a kryptonite. I think we all have our kryptonites, that thing that drains the hell out of us. But let's not wait until we're walking the thin line between life and death before we decide to stop and take a rest. I pity the people who keep saying "If I rest, I will lose everything!" And they would end up burning themselves out to the point that they can no longer do the things they have to do. I think if we are well-rested, we can do almost everything that we want to do again. Maybe better! Resting is not a sign of weakness. It only means you are getting ready for another act of awesomeness. We need it and we owe it to ourselves to get enough REST.

6. Be yourself!

One of the best things you can do to be happy is simply to be yourself - with all the flaws and rough edges. Are you having a tough time putting on your "people-can-see-me" act when you step out of the door? Or maybe you have to take off that mask you've been wearing all day once you get back home? You don't have to do that. You have to learn how to love yourself for who you are, for what you can and cannot do. It's going to be really tiring living double lives, you might even come to a point when you would feel so confused about your real self. It's not cool at all when you start to lose yourself. Whether it's for your parents, for your boyfriend, for your boss or whoever is making you feel like you have to be someone else for them to accept you, I'm telling you it's dragonshit! You only have to be YOU! You are enough and you matter!

7. Be generous

Despite what most people think, generosity does not come from our pocket. It comes from our heart. Giving out money is just one way to do it, but it's not entirely IT. There is more than one way to be generous. You can share your time and talents for people who need them the most. You do this to make their lives better but not at your expense because that will defeat the purpose. Anything that you have in excess, you can give them to others. It's true that you can't give something that you don't have, so, make sure that you are doing your best to have enough for yourself before giving or sharing something to others. If you are unwilling to share or give, then don't because it won't count as anything at all.

8. Say and do something nice to strangers

There are a lot of people in this planet, it's impossible not to get a chance to do something nice for someone you don't know. Pick up that kids' shoe that fell off while the mother is struggling to keep a balance between the kid and the grocery bag. Keep the door open for someone behind you or hold it for someone who is carrying four cups of coffee. Let someone who only has one or two items go ahead of you at check-out counters. Lend someone a pen. Give your seat to the elderly, pregnant women or kids. These may sound cliché but they are not, they still work and the world needs more of kind acts like these to restore humanity. I don't like it when people just walk around pretending not to see anyone else. These days, everyone is caught up in their cyber worlds: eyes on the phone, plugs on, blank stare, awkward silences. Almost everywhere I go, everyone is busy with their phones. When I see old people who are simply walking in the streets looking disconnected to any sort of gadget, I’ll be like “Whoah! Humans still exist! Awesome!”

I’m not saying we should look like a creep and give a retarded smile to everyone. Just a genuine smile, don’t hold it back. If you find something good and amusing, accept it and SMILE! When you see someone looking good, tell that person he/she looks good. We need to give people compliments because it makes them love themselves more.

I was born and raised in a third world country and I faced a hell lot of third world problems and I turned out fine. Mostly because I WANT TO. It doesn't matter if people, things or situations won't stop pissing me off. I always try to choose to be happy despite all the mini-chaos I face each day of my life. I'm not saying I'm happy ALL THE TIME, that's ridiculous! I'll have to question your humanity (and sanity!) if you can say you've never experienced pain, sorrow, disappointment or maybe depression at least once in your life.

Nothing's wrong with feeling sad, upset or frustrated at times. You have all the right to feel all kinds of emotions - these are the perks of being a human. I just hate it when other people's rage, sorrow and whatever epic drama and source of hopelessness starts creeping out of their tongue and into my ears. I'm not insensitive not to understand all these shits, in fact I am too sensitive and I happen to FEEL almost everything even when people won't say a word - perks of being an empath! I feel people's auras and energies, I'm just doing my best not to do so by keeping a good distance from the crowd. But of course, I am still human so one way or another I'd have to mingle and act like human-ish. But there are just times when being around them, especially the wrong ones, is so pathetically draining! Have you ever stepped in a room with someone for about five seconds and then you feel like ending your life all of a sudden? If you have never felt that, ask yourself if maybe you make people feel that way. Do you ever feel like people are walking out of your way to avoid small talks with you? You know you don't have bad breath or body odor or any kind of hellish scent but they just somehow try their best not to get into a (deep) conversation with you? Maybe you're too bossy or grumpy or maybe you just don't know how to properly ask for the things that you want and need. Whatever it is, and whatever your problem is, it's not quite right to drag people down with your negativity. Seriously, stop sucking the fun out of innocent people's lives! Everyone goes through deep shits like almost all the time, but how come you won't see it in other people's faces?

No matter how many shitty situations you face everyday (or every minute), I strongly believe that you have the right and the option to be happy. You just don't want to! Yeah, it's harsh but you're probably harsh on yourself too for avoiding happiness when it's coming right at you. Why do you do that? Why do I do that? Why do we do that?

But enough with the questions, I listed down my ways of making myself happy these days hoping it could somehow help others cope with whatever it is that's making them feel bad or sad. I really believe happiness starts from within, but once it's out, it's going to be contagious. If I haven't said anything here that you think should also be on the list of HOW TO BE HAPPY, I'd love to hear from you! If it works for you, it might work for someone else too. Feel free to share you thoughts about this because I really think people deserve to be happy and we don't know how far our thoughts can go.

Let me end this post with one more 'quoted picture'.

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