Aug 18, 2014

What exactly happens if you only have one day off

So, you start your day trying to think ‘YAHOOOO, it’s my day off! Me time, ME time!!! I’ll do whatever I fucking want!’ And then you get up, get dressed, still trying to hypnotize yourself that THIS day is yours and you are powerful and unstoppable and no one could ever keep you from doing what you want. You have dehydrated noodles and a cup of instant coffee for breakfast – which you try to believe is COOL because you don’t understand anything about the packaging. It could have mouse crap as one of the ingredients but you just don’t give a shit because you have no other choice but to eat that breakfast and start your day already! Breakfast – done!
Yahooooo! Next….
You go to the dentist for the nth time for the last 3 months, you don’t even understand what’s going on inside that damn tooth because you can only understand about 2% of Chinese language and you don’t have a 24/7 human translator, but again, there’s pretty much nothing you can do but sit on that dental chair, brace yourself for shooting pains and hope you won’t pass out soon. You survive another session of ‘Chinese style root canal treatment’; you hail a cab and then do your ‘shopping therapy’ which is gradually becoming less effective as the boring days roll by. Meanwhile, you realize that things are becoming hazy and you’re thinking if it is because of the pain you’re feeling from the damn tooth or for not having a decent breakfast or probably the heat…so you cut your shopping spree short, dragged yourself out of the building to hail a cab again. You drop by your favorite Italian restaurant, order pasta to go, which usually comes with 2 free scoops of ice cream. Life is somehow good again. You’re thinking that you just need to recharge; you think about taking a nap once you get back to your dorm. There’s another thing to look forward to - your weekly voice lessons. Yay! But then your voice coach suddenly sends a message saying she’s still in another city and that she’s busy preparing for her wedding. Again, that’s something you can’t do anything about. So, you just try to get back to your lovely nap, but then you realize that it’s ALREADY NIGHT TIME AGAIN and you still have pending paperwork in the office. You drag your sleepy ass out of your room and in to the office. Then, in the middle of one of your dreadful moments, you take a call from your family back in the Philippines. It’s kinda cool to see and talk to them. It seems like everyone is having a good time there, everyone is happy, and YOU are STUCK in an office doing what you hate the most. Confetti, please!
You try to finish the goddamn paperwork but it’s like filling a leaking bucket with water. It’s a vicious cycle that doesn’t freaking end! You try to shut ‘work’ out of your mind and open up your ‘personal’ life instead. Oh well, and you come to realize that it still pretty much sucks, so you think about writing yet another song about your current situation which you would like to call WHAT NOW?
And the best part? You only have few more hours before the new day starts. You STILL haven’t finished your paperwork and reports, your tooth hurts, you realize you had a bad nap, you yelled at your mother over Skype just because they are having fun out there and you are not, you only have a title for your next song, and you won’t be having voice lessons until the end of the month. What the fuck happened to your day?

This one day is supposed to recharge me from the hell I’ve been living 6 days a week. It isn’t enough, it will never be enough. But I guess that’s all I have for now, one not-so-fine day! Wooohoooo! There are days when everything is great~ when everyone you talk to is like an angel sent from heaven. But I guess this is what it really feels like to live. Sometimes you get too many shits in one day, but it’s temporary. The important thing is that you’re still alive and very soon, you’ll see a new day. Maybe you can start over? Maybe there would be less shitty situations tomorrow. Maybe you won’t spill your drinks or drop your things. Maybe you can finally put words to your latest unfinished song. 


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