Jul 15, 2013
45th Day in Tieling City
So, I’ve been here in China for 45 days. That’s a month and a half now since I got on my first plane ride! Yeah, I quit from my job in the Philippines and tried my luck as a classroom teacher again.
My first month here was a huge challenge. This is the first time I’ve been out of my country. Some call it culture shock, but it’s not the “culture shock” that actually shocked me. It’s the fact that I came here to ‘teach’. Yeah, I’m a licensed teacher, but this teaching thing…is really not my thing…I think. My bosses will probably kill me if they see this article, but, hey I gotta be true at least to myself. I accepted this job knowing maybe only half of what’s it really gonna be. Yes, I had regrets, BUT right now, I feel like I’m getting back on track. It took me a month and a half to start writing again. For the last 45 days, I did nothing but focus on the thing that I came here to do - to teach. But when you want something, you will always find a way to get it. Little baby steps are all you need to get there. It doesn’t have to be a giant leap. I lost my focus for quite some time. I forgot about what’s really inside my heart. Maybe that’s why I had a rough time during my training. I was so eager and desperate to learn everything at the same time. But hey, it takes time to learn and hone new skills. Seriously, I’ve learned a LOT in that one month of training - things I never thought I could actually do. Though I’m kinda confused at times - not quite sure if I’m a teacher or a clown, because it’s all about making the kids HAPPY. Happy…happiness - then it hit me, that’s what I want! I just wanna be happy! And I want to spread happiness.
One of the things that make me happy is to share whatever it is that made me happy. A lame joke, a funny photo, informative links, an anecdote…I don’t mind using my own stories just to make at least one person smile every day. If I make someone smile, I consider it a JOB WELL DONE. There are days when I would talk to about a hundred people, though most of them are kids. Not everyone is given a chance to do that. But imagine getting a chance to do that - a chance to touch these kids’ lives. A chance to teach them even just one word, a chance to smile at them and to see them smile back at you. Yes, there are days when they would drive me crazy, but, man everything is temporary! Feelings and emotions come and go, but your character gets stronger as you take in all these temporary emotions. You will be left with a better perspective about life as you live every single day. LIVE every single day, not let it pass like clouds floating up in the skies.
I think I’ve wasted too many hours feeling down…when I should have been writing everything down. My blog site doesn't work here, so, I had an excuse NOT to write, great! But enough is enough. Just like what my roommate always tells me, THIS IS OUR REALITY for NOW. No matter how much I want to think about the other things that I want to do, we are here NOW…we are here to teach. We gotta stick it out until we finish our contract. Two years does not seem so long - that’s what I thought before I came here. I worked in my previous company for about two years and I didn’t even realize that. Time flew. And now, it seems to be flying again.
We all have 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. HOW ARE WE GONNA SPEND THESE???
As for me, I will TRY to inhale every single bit of it from now on. Even if there would be tough days, I’ll say BRING THEM ON! There’s no other way but THROUGH IT. Every time we step out of our dormitory, I always imagine what I would write about this new city I’m living in. The streets, the buildings, the food, the way people live and the way they dress. I swear this city is like a huge catwalk! People are always dressed to the nines and we have learned to hide our smirks whenever we see girls wearing dresses that you would normally see on wedding ceremonies or child Christenings (back in our country). There are a LOT of things that I wanna write about…but when we get back to our dormitory, I get back to ‘work mode’ or ‘rest mode’. This is the first time (since I got here) I got a chance to just sit (on my bed, wrapped up in a quilt like a human burrito) and write about my new life. I guess because it’s only now that I’m really accepting what I came here to do. Yes, I have to work, but I also have the right to live my life. And living my life includes meditating, talking, laughing, eating, writing, singing, dancing, roller-skating, shopping and chatting with my friends back home and in other countries. I still wanna do all these things, with work on the side…Hahaha!