Dec 31, 2013

Adieu 2013, Hello 2014!

 Okay, so I’m writing this post one hour and 5 minutes before 2013 ends. I’m literally on a clock~~~tick tock! Urghhhh!!! I’m not sure if one hour is enough to sum up what happened to me this year.

What really happened in 2013???

I was out with my colleagues hours ago, and while we were eating at KFC (in China!!!), I just blurted out IS IT REALLY 2014 tomorrow??? It’s still not sinking in…urgh! Yes, a LOT of things happened this year, but December 31, 2012 feels like last night!!! WHY is that??!! Seriously? It’s December 31, 2013 now???

I started my year totally confused and clueless of what’s about to happen. And, a year after, I think I’m in pretty much in the same ground! Haha!

Here’s what I’ve been doing during the last night of 2012, as far as I can remember…I was playing guitar (which isn’t even mine!), trying to put music on the songs I wrote. I recorded them in my very first smart phone. You can even hear the fireworks/fire crackers in the background of my recordings because that was almost midnight. I was alone in my dormitory because the other girls either in their hometowns or at work. Well, there was one who just went out to go to church, so I took advantage of that time to sing like crazy. I took pictures of my last purchases for that year – a white converse and one F&H skinny jeans. Minutes before midnight, I went down and did countdown with the caretaker of our dorm and my roommate who just got back from church. PARTY of THREE! Awesome! We placed food on the dormitory’s common table. We had fruits, chocolates, cake and some soft drinks. I was texting and chatting like crazy. I was listening to my favorite k-pop band as well. It was pretty clear in my head to think that that was 365 days ago. Around 11 AM of January 1st 2013, I went out to have brunch with my sister, and that same day, I broke one of my New Year’s resolutions – not to buy clothes unless I NEED them. And I blame that very first day…for buying A LOT of clothes for the rest of the year. HAHA!

Okay, seriously, going back to eve of 2012…if someone told me that I will be spending my next New Year’s Eve in China, I would just LAUGH OUT LOUD. Because A – I never dreamed of becoming an OFW. And B – I always thought that my very first international flight would be a world tour concert or something BIG, you know??? Everything happened in a BLAST, like ZOOOOOOM!!! It’s amazing and overwhelming and it makes me wanna yell out the window RIGHT this very second! Wheeeew!

Really, an hour is not enough so I’ll try to cover as many things as possible. I turned 25 this year. I cured one of my phobias. I had 2 minor breakdowns, an awesome confession, and endless song-writing moments. I fulfilled several dreams – (going to Baguio, having my very own laptop, get on a moving plane, wear coats, boots and sunglasses at the same time, EXPERIENCE WINTER, play with snow AND write my name in snow, have the salary I was only dreaming of earning way back when I was a teen, get the ‘magical’ eye glasses – the one that turns into sunglasses when you step out in the sun, and ride a bike in China!) Of course they all come with a price. If you’re gonna ask if I’m crazy happy right now, I would have to say NOT REALLY. I am grateful, YES. I am very thankful that I was able to fulfill these ‘dreams’ in like a blink of an eye. These things can never be taken away from me anymore; the happiness they brought me will stay with me forever. It’s weird seeing a map of my country realizing I’M NOT THERE!!! WEIRD! HAHAHA! I will never forget my very first plane ride - the take off~~~urgh!!!  It was like getting on an expensive and safe roller coaster.

It’s unbelievable, how I managed to stay alive after everything. But I’m thankful, that at this very moment, right before the clock hits 12, before 2014 kicks in, I’M STILL BREATHING, and hopefully would continue to do so for many more New Year’s Eve.

I am hundreds (maybe thousands?!) of miles away from my country, from my family, from my friends for the first time in my life, but I’m contented that there’s still a way for us to connect, to communicate. 

Nothing much to say, JUST GRATEFUL for everything that happened...

Oct 27, 2013

Hitting 20’s

(written: September 11, 2013)

I just realized the other night that I only have like 5 months to be 25. Next year I will turn 26. Can you believe that? Seems like yesterday I was just an outcast kid in grade school turned cheerleader in high school who turned out to be a singer wannabe in college who ended up with a quarter life crises in my early 20’s. Wheew!
I’m actually going to be in my mid-twenties in several months. (Well, I think I kinda already am, right?) And while taking a shower the other night (unbelievable realization really springs outta my head when I’m taking showers!), it just hit me. Where the hell did my early twenties go??? What happened to me the last 5 years? Well probably part of the trigger is that I watched the movie “Something Borrowed” recently. The lead character celebrated her 30th birthday at the beginning of the movie and she asked herself what happened to her 20’s. She was thinking she just wasted her entire 20’s. She hates her job, she has no boyfriend and she’s actually thinking of being a cat lady. A good friend of hers told her that she didn’t really waste her 20’s, she just grew up. Now I’m asking myself, did I???
I have 4 more years or so to be 30. And I have these crazy things to do before I turn 30. Like going to Florida and visit the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry theme park, or dye my hair whatever I want because I told myself I would only wear black hair when I reach 30. Or wear as much denim jeans right now because I won’t be wearing denim jeans anymore when I reach 30. I told you, they are crazy! And I’m not sure if I can stick with them when the time comes. But hang on! Why am I talking about turning 30??? I’m supposed to talk about hitting 20’s! Right? Right!
25 – I’m 25 years old now. And it’s such a turning point, really. Even though I didn’t get my dream birthday party (which is dressing up like Rinoa Heartilly in her cream mini dress from the music video of Eyes on Me, and dance in a ball with Squall-or whoever dresses up like Squall), I’m still happy that I was able to celebrate it. Well, not really celebrate. Hehe!
So the dream birthday party (which I haven’t told anybody about) is…to have a ball, not a really fancy one. Just enough people who care about what I want and who knows what I want. And everybody would be dancing…yeah pretty much the same as one of the scenes in the music video of Eyes on Me. Ever since I was 15, I’ve always been dreaming of such a scene. I want something like that to happen in my life. And I chose my 25th birthday for that. I was thinking I have 10 years to go to make that happen. Lots of things happened in 10 years. And on my 25th birthday, unfortunately I was walking home alone, crying in the rain, for too many reasons.
I was happy and sad at the same time. Happy that I made it to my 25th, sad that it didn’t turn out the way I imagined it 10 years ago. Kinda pathetic in a way, but the funny thing is that I’m thinking that somewhere out there there’s a video camera recording that very scene. I was walking in a dark parking lot, I see some lamp posts, and I took the late night bus going back to my dormitory. You can choose your own bummer song to play in your head while imagining this scene. I was shaking my head as I get off the bus and as I walked through another dark street. This isn’t happening.
But it was real. The sadness was real. And it makes me human. I was happy in a way that I never imagined I can bear that kind of sadness. It didn’t kill me, I was able to sleep on it. Ha!
But flash forward to months after that ‘dramatic birthday’. Now, I’m back to reminiscing what really happened before I turned 25???
And here’s what…
Age 20 – I graduated from college. I took the board exam, I passed. I went on my first job interview; I didn’t get a call back because apparently I dominated the interview, pretty much. I kept sending resumes online, got a few calls, turned down some because the locations of the offices aren’t convenient for me. Got ecstatic about one, decided to take an exam, and the office is very close to where I was living that time. I passed the written exams and other interviews, didn’t get through the medical exam because I have tuberculosis which shocked the hell out of me (for about 2 minutes), and because that was my first chest X-ray ever. I went through months of treatment before coming back again to the same company.

Age 21 – After months of treatment, and making vain videos and posting them in Youtube, I finally got in to my first company, which didn’t last very long. I met some cool people and I learned a lot from that 3 and a half months of work. But one day, I just decided, I’m done with it – I quit! I thought I wanted to write or work for a magazine, or work at a hotel, so I sent out resumes, went to interviews, changed my mind, and went back to nothing!

Age 22 – I landed on my second job, but I was a bummer for a few months before landing on this second job. This also lasted for about 3 months. I worked with a friend from college, met more people, learned a lot more ~~~ but not sure if I wanna do that kind of thing forever. Took a break, became a bummer again, and decided to come back to the seasonal job~ I gave it another 3 months.

Age 23 – Sent out a resume, trying to get a job in my second company again for the summer of 2011, apparently “I wasn’t in the list of those who would be given another chance to work there”. I sent more resumes, but this time for online teaching. Went to interviews, didn’t pass in one company, didn’t accept one because it’s quite far and turned down another one because it’s located in the first floor of the building and I won’t have a reason to use the lifts, so, NO! Almost accepted one job offer but I noticed that the cubicles aren’t big enough and the divisions were like as thin as folders, so, NO! I tried to take an exam and interview with another company, same industry – online teaching. Not bad!

 I got my 3rd job a couple of months after I turned 23. Freaked out the first 3 days then I’m good. Met awesome people, learned a hell lot more, learned to live on own and finally started paying my own rent. This was the time when I really felt like “I’m an adult; I’m paying and worrying about rent” Cool! I started living with total strangers, not quite shocking though. There are pros and cons, just gotta learn how to look on brighter side of things.

This was also the time when I started working on this “book” that may or may not be published in this lifetime. But when I got stuck on one chapter, I decided to create a blog instead. My blog ( is where I put my random thoughts. I also call it my cyber toilet. If number 1 is pee and number 2 is poo, then writing/posting in my blog is what I call NUMBER 3!

Age 24 – The adventure continues. Still working for my 3rd company, shockingly! Really inhaling life - a time when I can go anywhere I want as long as it’s within my budget. This is a time when I can meet whoever I want to meet, talk to whoever I want to talk to, and sleep as long as I want as long as I’m not at work. Apparently I was falling in love with the job, and call me crazy when I say this but I wasn’t having Monday blues. Basically because I get enough time to rest because for the first time ever in my work history, I was only working for 8 hours. I don’t worry about anything at all after logging out from work. I get to live my life.

Age 25 – I was in denial in the first two weeks after my 25th birthday. I was still bummed with the fact that NOTHING COOL happened at all that day. Plus, something went wrong with the work schedule, it messed up my sleeping habits and I got so irritated every single day. I don’t feel productive at all and I keep barking at people. I had a major headache that scared the hell out of me, had to see a neurologist and I was given an anti-anxiety pill to tone down my DRAGON-behavior. The job that I look forward to every morning turned out to be ~~~ a torture. I tried to bargain for my old schedule, my request was denied, so I had to look for a way out. I went back to sending out resumes, actually just one this time. Late April 2013, days after I sent out my resume, I got a call from the company. I spent the whole month of May 2013 trying to process my documents – everything happened too fast. I barely sleep anymore trying to do everything as soon as possible. And I was able to do it. My last day at my 3rd company was May 24th. Had I stayed for just one more week, I would have worked there for exactly 2 years, training days not included. I enjoyed the work, up to my last day there – but I just had to take a break from the poor sleeping habits. I’ve had enough of that. Sleeping is really a big issue for me. I needed a job that would let me get enough sleep to do what I have to do. That’s how I landed on my 4th job here in China.
Although, I think I went too far. Haha!

(Will post a second part when I get the nerve to write about what’s going on here in China. Stay tuned for more updates~~~ this is Cyndrel, LIVE from Tieling! Hahaha!)

Aug 24, 2013

Awesome August!

Yup! You heard that right. 


I'm somehow having a good time here in the Land of the Shaolin kids! That’s what I call this place now.

It’s been more than two months since I landed here. So far, so good. I’m getting the hang of the job and I’m not being a drama queen anymore because my roommate says THERE’S NO TALENT FEE no matter how much I cry and regret the good life that I was living back in my country. 

I’m here~ no turning back…that’s what I keep in mind…and eventually it led me to acceptance. I know I’m here for a reason. I just dunno what it is, but there must be a reason. This could also be a lesson; a huge one I should say. I told one of my friends that maybe ONE of the lessons is never to make a decision when you’re sleep deprived, because you might end up in China – like I did!

So, instead of feeling like a total loser, and agonizing about the fact that I’m doing a job which I think I suck (but turns out not so much!), I decided to go out from time to time or whenever we have time, and get some Tieling air and learn as much as I can~ STREET STYLE! I’m not a huge fan of books, though books are a great source of knowledge. I just believe more in experience. So, here I am, experiencing life in this foreign country.


My family warned me not to eat street foods and basically to be very careful about anything that I eat. Yeah, as much as I wanna do that, this girl just can’t resist street food! I’m so sorry! I just want to try their street version of hotpot…and know what? Damn good man! Hahaha…They call it “malatang”. They got a LOT of food on sticks (meat, veggies, fungus etc.) and these are soaked in simmering flavored water, and you got a few options of sauce – basically a peanut sauce. There’s spicy and a mild one. 

Here’s the drill: First, you smile and say “ni hao!” to the kind lady or anyone who is on the other side of this rolling eatery. Then, you get a plate with plastic (sometimes they hand you one immediately) then start picking up the food on sticks, put them on your plate, and then put on the sauce. There’s another option that I don’t normally do - you can add noodles to your plate and that will be your source of carbohydrates for that meal. Next, find a spot where you can eat and chat and get a good view of the place and then you eat as much as you can – at least that’s what I normally do, which is NOT good because it led me to gaining 2 kilos in 2 months! Damn! 

By the way, you shouldn’t throw the sticks because they need those to know how much your bill is. The price is 1 yuan for two sticks. If you get 10 sticks, that’s 5 yuan or about Php 35.

Okay, I don’t always do that – anymore! If the weather isn’t that good you won’t find the night market or any of these street foods in the streets. The street becomes a little bit boring. We’re just enjoying it now because people who have been here for a long time said that during winter season, the night market won’t be there anymore - at all!

We also eat decent food, okay! Once we went to this Italian resto, just because we’re seriously craving for pizza and pasta. The food is quite good, except for the ham (or was that sausage?) from the pizza, it tastes funny. It tastes sweet. Kinda like Hawaiian style, which I’m not very fond of.

They have KFC here and the size of their chicken is a little bit questionable. Maybe the chicken is still a teenager that’s why it’s not too small and not big at all. I dunno. Ordering food is hilarious. There’s no other word but HILARIOUS. Of course we’re not conversant AT ALL in Chinese, so we just point to whatever we want, say how much we want (or how many servings) and hope it all goes well. It’s more like playing charade actually, especially if we have some special request, like if we want more chili or if we want something hot. Yeah, it’s like a freaking charade! Or Taboo!? “The game of unspeakable fun” – as it says in the box.

Sometimes, we go out with our bosses and other colleagues. We eat in Chinese restaurants (I mean restaurants!) and our Chinese boss would order the food and we just wait for the food to be served. I’m very grateful for that, really, but where’s the fun in that? I find it a little, awkward actually. I dunno if I should be formal or if it would be okay to crack one of my lame jokes. It’s weird. So, I’d rather eat alone or with just one or two colleagues. I prefer to play charade first before eating. It makes you appreciate the food!

Of course! I HEART shopping, who doesn’t? And c’mon, if you see the prices of the stuff here, even if you hate shopping, you still won’t go home empty handed.

I always do what I call “thrift shopping”. I start by saying “I won’t buy too much, only the ones I need!” and then end up with 3 shirts, 3 pairs of socks and a couple of underwear on my way home. But yeah, I NEED those! I came here with only 15 kilos of luggage. FIFTEEN KILOS man! That’s ALL of my stuff! Including shoes, jackets, and everything, really! I only have my laptop, my documents, a teddy bear and some toiletries in my hand carry.

They got a lot of crap in here my friends! Haha…bags, shoes, hats, clothes, fishes, fishes with legs, hand fans, mats, roller skates, jewelry, shades, key chains, I mean c’mon! Everything is made here!

We do shop in the malls too, but the prices there are insane! Unless they’re on sale or extremely low, I wouldn’t buy anything from department stores. BUT! I broke that rule just recently. I needed to reward myself with something pretty and comfy, so, I looked for a huge pillow. I was aiming for a body pillow so I can really rest my body at night, but no luck. I got a normal pillow, it was 68 yuan. It’s the most expensive purchase I had so far, for a single item. When I do my grocery shopping, it’s almost always around 50-100 yuan. This pillow is already quite expensive for me, but I NEED it! I need it to get a decent sleep.


Aside from the good pillow, of course I have been craving for a massage here. Two months man! Two months that I haven’t had a massage. Can you imagine how stiff my ligaments are by now? Anyway, so I asked one of the Chinese staff here to take me to a massage place. It’s just that the place she brought me too isn’t exactly a spa or the typical massage place that I normally go to. It’s more like a treatment place like if you got scoliosis or really dislocated bones in your body. The people there were like physical therapists, not just random masseuse or masseur. No oils, I keep my clothes on as they do the treatment. It’s not your typical relaxing massage, but it was good man! One touch and the lady knew that my lower left back part of my head isn’t good. I have always been complaining about that chronic neck pain. What she did was like a traditional Chinese treatment, my Chinese friend was there with us the whole time, as she was translating everything that the therapist is saying and asking. I was lying face down and my face was in the face hole, and they’ve got this brilliant idea of putting something under the massage table instead of just seeing the floor. The thing is I can’t understand the damn thing because everything is in Chinese. I left the place with a smile on my face, because finally, after such a loooooong time, I was able to ‘pamper’ myself even just for half an hour. Yup, it was only half an hour. So, after that, my Chinese friend and I parted ways. For the first time ever, I took a cab in CHINA, ALONE. Yup! And, that’s not the greatest part. The cab driver is a lady! What a day, right? Even in my country, I have never been on a taxi cab with a female driver, although I wish they would do that eventually.

Every time I go out, I learn something new. Like earlier that day, after my Chinese friend and I had lunch, I asked her where I can find the WC. It means ‘restroom’ and the letters, in case you are wondering, stands for WASH CLOSET. Yup! WASH CLOSET. Being a chinovela fan since ever, I know about the set up of these WCs. They’re normally the ‘squat style’ toilets which I’m fine with. I don’t love it, but I’m fine with it. But, the kicker is that…I didn’t know that the area where you wash your hands - the area with the mirrors, hand dryers and everything, is a common area for both men and women. That bothered me a little because I’m not used to facing the mirror and seeing guys’ reflections. Weird man! It was so awkward doing your hair and redoing your make up with guys around. It’s like invasion of privacy. But I will get used to it, I guess.


Last Sunday, August 18, we went to this place they call New Tieling City. It’s the place where we teach for two hours every Tuesdays and Thursdays at a kindergarten. But this time we didn’t go there to teach. We just went there to see the Lotus Lake and to check out our boss’ new house near the said lake. The lotuses are in full bloom around this season. Thing is, we got there at around 7 PM, there were fewer people and the place was about to close. We just had a quick walk, took some pictures and then that’s it. It was good, but not so captivating. I would prefer to walk in a lavender or sunflower farm. We took lots of pictures from our boss’ place, which I think was the highlight of the mini trip. I enjoyed posing at the mini pier by the lake. I saw this rusty boat and boy I tried SO hard to control myself from jumping on it and paddling away. The park benches, aaarrggghhhhh, I would love to spend an entire afternoon just sitting at one of them and writing or just breathing. I just want to look at the skies, forget about the things I need to do even just for a moment and simply breathe. I hope we can have more time to go to places like that. Oh well, I heard we’ve got a long holiday soon, so, we’ll see where the wind will take me.

Feb 22, 2013

What I've learned in 25 years

Hey you guys! I'm 25 now...yiiiikes! hahaha...I dunno how I got where I am right now...It's like I just woke up today and BAM! I turned 25!!! Yup, 25 years ago I came to this world without a sound. Hahaha...that's what my family told me. I wasn't crying when I came out...and they thought I was MUTE!

Feb 8, 2013

Top 10 obsessions

So, people have different obsessions, big deal! Yeah, I'm crazy about things that won't really matter to other human beings. But just so you know, these things keep me least for now. So, I'd like to share with you my TOP 10 current obsessions.

Jan 24, 2013

My 2013 goals!

So, it's been almost a month and I've just been SO busy adjusting with my new shift at work since January 2nd. Aside from brisk walking and 50 crunches before I take showers, I haven't really done any serious work out! I know! And what was my New Year's resolution again? Right, to BE STRONGER!

Jan 2, 2013

Cool things I wanna do!

Yeah, I do have a LOT of lists but these are the 'normal' things that I want to do. I say 'normal' because they are somehow achievable in about few years or so.

- get on a zip line
- get on a cable car
- fly on a hot air balloon
- learn how to drive
- shop in Paris, France
- go ice skating at Central Park in NYC
- walk on the Great Wall of China