Aug 23, 2012

Noisy city + bummer mode = a great realization

I thought I’m still dreaming. I can clearly hear the helicopter and the cars honking; these are what I normally hear in the morning when I’m in the city. Sometimes, ambulance and fire truck sirens and the drillers doing and redoing the water pipes in the street would add up in the morning orchestra. I wasn’t planning on waking up yet, but the sound of the hammer pounding the floor was forcing me to get out of bed. Our building is going through renovation for several days now; they’re doing the floors now.
First thing I do in the morning after saying my prayer is to tell myself to “get up and make your dreams come true”. My eyes are still closed as I say my ‘mantra’ in my mind. I’m still sleepy but…I have to make my dreams come true!

I dragged myself to the bathroom; I peed, washed my face then brushed my huge teeth. Then, I heated a bowl of our left over ‘mien’ (Chinese word for noodles) and made myself a cup of instant coffee – my mornings are incomplete without coffee. I’ve been drinking coffee since 5th grade. When I was in my parents' house, there were times when we have nothing in the dining table aside from a cup of hot black coffee for breakfast; coffee had been my best bud since then.

I turned on the TV and DVD and watched ‘Charmed’ season three, then, I sat into one of the dining chairs in the LIVING room. As I was sipping on my favorite cup, I realized I have nothing to do today. Well, not really nothing. I know I have to do my laundry because I didn’t do it yesterday. But after that – nothing.

I’m unemployed, for almost two months now. My part time and seasonal job ended last February. I had mixed emotions during my last day at work. I’m happy that the job’s done and I can rest again; I’m sad because I won’t have a reason to get out of the house again, plus, my birthday’s coming and I won’t be able to buy myself something pretty. Anyway, my birthday passed by, I just let it pass by – literally. I didn’t do anything cool that day, I didn’t want to celebrate. It was stupid, I know!
But today, though I’ve got no work, money, or a great plan about my future, I’m not planning on letting this day pass without doing something ‘cool’. I’m listening to Jesse McCartney’s song ‘Best Day of My Life’ while I’m writing this.
A line says:

“It goes to show, you never know when everything’s about to change…just another day, it started out like any other…”

Good start!

(I admire people who can say what they want in a song; it’s just plain genius…for me. I’m still hoping that one day; I will be able to do it too! Maybe not today, but one day…I know I will!)

As I listen to Jesse McCartney, I started to think about how I start my days...

I’m really not a morning person. I hate the sun rays flashing in my eyes. But I have to admit, mornings are great! It is the only time of the day that makes me realize that yesterday belongs to the past, and that today is a new day; another clean sheet of paper. All the stupid mistakes I did yesterday are…technically…gone! Wheeew! Isn’t that great?!

It’s nice to look back on the things you’ve done – good or bad, but we’re supposed to move forward. Maybe that’s why our eyes and feet are directed forward. There’s nothing wrong with looking back, but that’s pretty much all we can do with our PAST. We can’t ‘edit, cut or delete’ it.

“It goes to show, you never know when everything’s about to change…just another day, it started out like any other…”

So, my day started just like any other day, but today, I decide to live in the moment.

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